5 Steps for Achieving Self - Fulfillment
“I have wandered all my life, and I have also traveled; the difference between the two being this, that we wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.”
- Hilaire Belloc
Often, we tie in self-fulfillment with achievements, goals, ambitions, and growth. And for a long time, I thought the same was true. I always thought that I will be finally pleased with myself and my existence once I achieve enough - almost like a proof of my worth.
A few years later, here I am feeling absolutely, completely fulfilled with my life, even though I still have goals and achievements I strive for. I realized that self-fulfillment is something I should create for myself, in myself, instead of looking for it elsewhere. And it’s one of the most beautiful paths I walked towards personal growth, which is why today I am sharing with you 5 Steps For Achieving Self-Fulfillment - so that you can also create it for yourself! Here we go:
Anchor Yourself In The Present Moment
If you are striving to achieve self-fulfillment, then the best time to start is right now. Over the years, as I strived to find self-fulfillment in my life, I realized that one of the reasons self-fulfillment seems to elude most of us is because ever since we are young, we are taught to look towards the future, instead of focusing on the present moment.
The truth is, self-fulfillment is something you create, in every moment that you are present in the now, in every moment you fully appreciate your life - in every moment that you let yourself feel alive. Worry, anxiety, achievements, goals - they all focus on something that is yet to come, or might not even come, and the more you focus on the future, there is less time for you to live in the present. Only when I anchored myself fully in the present moment, did I begin to feel fulfilled with my life, even though everything was far from perfect in my life.
Come At Peace With Your Own Duality
On my path towards self-fulfillment, one of the most difficult concepts to grasp was accepting that I can be both: complete and a work in progress. It’s counterintuitive, right? You see, like many others, I also thought that I can just be one - either I am a work in progress, which is great because I get to grow, but on the other hand, that very need for growth also signified, and reinforced for me an emotion we all struggle with - not being good enough.
And, somehow along the way, I developed this deep need to be enough, and for once to be complete and not just work in progress. After all, after constantly pushing yourself forward, and working without rest you are bound to burn up sooner or later. And on those days, my only wish, and need was to wake up and simply be enough, without having to do anything to prove my worth.
However, whenever I soothed myself, and just focused on that thought that I don’t have to do anything to be complete and enough in this very moment, a new struggle had risen. In a society of constant busyness, rush, the possibility of always doing a better job and endless tasks, accepting that I am complete, as I am, that I have nothing to prove to myself or anyone else made me feel guilty. It almost felt like I was stuck in the same place, because if I am enough, why would I like to change anything? On several occasions, it even reinforced staying in my comfort zone. And so, I always struggled with one or the other.
After many years of struggle, I finally found inner peace and self-fulfillment in the simple realization that I am both - complete and a work in progress. Everything I have experienced has in one way or the other prepared me to live my life to the fullest in this very moment, thus making me more than enough - it made me complete, for this moment. And for all the future moments, life will prepare me through change, growth, and progress - so that I can be complete and enough in every moment of my existence. This very realization has truly changed my life and has been the greatest catalyst in discovering my inner peace.
Shift Your Mindset To A More Positive Outlook
Some days, it seems like everything is going wrong in your life. In the past, I even thought on several occasions that the Universe itself conspires against me because everything seemed catastrophic in my life. If I spilled my coffee that morning, or stumbled with my toe on my desk - well, it was just going to be one of those days where everything will go wrong for me. And often, it turned out that way - and I dreaded every moment of those days, and couldn’t wait for them to be over. However, the more I continued with this negative mindset and saw disaster at every corner, the less self-fulfillment I had.
And so, I embarked on my path to understanding - how are my thoughts affecting my personal fulfillment? After a while, it became clear to me that my thoughts, my very mindset had a lot to do with my self-fulfillment. Because all of these thoughts, deep down, stirred anger towards life itself. After all, who wants to suffer? But, that was just it - I suffered because of my own mindset, not because life or the Universe was out to get me.
So, I started small, for every ‘bad’ thing that happened, I strived to think of three good things in my life so that I can maintain perspective on the positive. Right after waking up, I’d sit in my bed and think of three things I am truly grateful for in my life, and refused to get out of bed until I do so (and I still do this!). In every mishap, in every dread, I pushed myself to see an opportunity for growth. And the more I pushed towards a more positive outlook, personal fulfillment slowly but surely settled in every moment of my life.
Devote Time For Yourself Every Single Day
A few years ago, when I started my journey, taking care of myself seemed like a waste of time. If I woke up and went to work that day - obviously I was fine. However, living and surviving is not the same thing. Being stuck in survival mode made it all but impossible to achieve self-fulfillment.
Only after this realization settled in, did I devote time to myself every single day. It doesn’t have to be much, sometimes I just journal for a few minutes, and sometimes I sit with myself in silence, acknowledging all thoughts and emotions at that moment. The inner peace that comes from taking good care of yourself every day, being aware of your needs, and simply connecting with yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes is crucial to create fulfillment in your life.
Self - Fulfillment Meditation
And last but not the least, a couple of times a week I like to work with my Natural Purple Jasper Lotus Mala and meditate to manifest self-fulfillment. Purple Jasper is such a beautiful, calming crystal that simply radiates with reassuring energy that everything will be alright and everything is complete, connected, and right in the Universe.
I like to simply sit with my mala in hand for 10 deep breaths and simply take in the grounding, steady energy. Then, I start touching the beads, and as I touch each bead I repeat the following affirmation: “I accept the beauty of each moment in my life. I am enough in every moment of my existence.” When I finish with all the beads, I put on my mala as a necklace or a bracelet, and take 10 more deep breaths and simply enjoy the feeling of leading a fulfilled life.
I hope these tips will help you lead a more fulfilled life! Which one is your favorite? Let me know in the comments below!